Kindle Direct Publishing is Flawed

Of course everything is flawed, especially in art of every genre and medium. However, there are some problems that can come across as intentional or are more frustrating than others as very easy fixes.

It’s not the wait that gets me. I can understand that. They won’t tell you if you need to correct something until after the 12 hours or so it takes to put it up on amazon, making the task take a few days if they don’t go into enough detail of what’s wrong and give the guidelines in a way that will help you fix it right away.
One publishing attempt took almost four because there was no set explanation on the guidelines to fix it with. I was left guessing until I got it right.
If there was a better way to check before submitting, then the process would be faster. It’s possible that it’s in the works, but I have yet to see news of it if it is.

You can’t clean your bookshelf. This is a similar problem with Lulu as well.

That bugs the heck out of me!

It’s like a poltergeist haunting me to see old work. I think it’s that way for many artists; it’s hard to look at your old work. For the KDP bookshelf, even if you unpublish it, it’s still there, like a stain on the wall you can’t paint over.

I tried painting over them, but the stain bleeds through…

I’ve tried posting other stories and redoing covers over old things I’ve unpublished to better cope, but the changes don’t set–any comment or rating or cover doesn’t go away, even if it seems like it does from one end in the right lighting.
The forums claim that it’s not only impossible to clean your bookshelf, that you have to call the heads of the amazon company to hack into amazon.com itself to fix that (wouldn’t that be like having to call the owner of facebook in order to delete a status update?) and that it can take a few days or weeks to possibly fix the redone publication. However, I only saw one thread that had this happen successfully, others had to start completely over.
I was one of them where it didn’t set in.

I’ll give it one more try and check with the forums again, maybe asking the repetitive question myself.
If it doesn’t work though, I’m trying somewhere else.

It’s not so much that traditional publishing is looking better, it’s more that I don’t exactly have the resources to try it–it costs money for postage, printing manuscripts, editors and agents and I don’t have the money to gamble. If anything, I’ll just hang a picture over the stain and hope it doesn’t fall and reveal the stains.

Juust throwin’ that stuff out there…

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The Surgery Approx. 12 Hours Later…

It feels like it should’ve been a lot longer than 12 hours with how crazy it’s been.

I can’t believe it, I do have endometriosis.

I’m supposed to make an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow because my body was having trouble getting to normal. It shouldn’t count as a follow-up, so I doubt it’ll count into the global period‘s 3 post-op follow-up rule, but I’ll ask to make sure. Otherwise, I need to see him in a week to discuss the endometriosis he found, the one thing that means a hysterectomy now instead of a few years later. Since I have it, I feel better about googling it. I’m curious how the stage it’s progressed to will affect the operation, but I’ll find that out, and see some pictures of it, soon enough.

I almost cried when I came to–the pain was gone. Two years of misery finally granted me a break. I cannot count the incision pain. That’s something completely different. The relief almost brought me to tears. Even now, my eyes water at enjoying the relief.
In a way, I feel like my true self has finally shown herself, no longer bullied and harassed by the pain.

The pain form the incisions is keeping me up, but I know I’ll tire out eventually. Since the real problem of my pain has been removed, I can walk upright. I couldn’t do that in the last surgery. I feel so much stronger now and a lot less afraid. I’m extremely confident that the recovery will go well this time because I can feel that it will and that I’m in better hands and wielding a sharper sword.

Since they put IV’s into both wrists, it’ll be a day or two before I can allow myself to sit down and type thoroughly. I’m not able to draw either, mostly because of the carpel tunnel, but I’m probably going to stay asleep once I fall asleep. Until then, I’ve done what I can to prepare for an epic writing binge on that day. I think it’s a matter of finding a comfortable enough place or position to type or draw without upsetting the incisions’ healing.

I doubt I’d need to reopen and uncork pus like I did last time. I don’t think I can mentally handle doing that again. I have a feeling a lot of my problems come from having to do that since my internal and external infections weren’t taken seriously. Even if I do, I’m sure I’ll look back on it years from now and see how strong I was then and am now.

I look forward to writing with a little less distraction again. If nothing else, I’ll be able to write suffering physical pain really well right now haha!

I heavily suggest printing out the packet in the global period link. It explains the responsibility of the doctor and how insurance pays for it. This means a whole 30,000 dollars to me. It could mean just as much if not more to you.

Quick Note on Comments, Oranges, and Self-Harm

On Comments

I apologize that I haven’t been able to get on to approve comments and spam ads. It’s been chaotic. However, know that I read every one of them and am grateful of all the nice things that are said. I’m not always available to sit down and approve them all, but if anything, I do read them, even if I can’t approve them (Maybe it’s just me, but non-PC means of accessing my blog don’t work well). I just wanted to throw that out there and continue on with the other things.

On Oranges
The inspiration beg=hind the non-fiction piece Oranges is explained a little bit more in On Self-Harm, so I won’t explain it here. I bring it up to mention that I may take it down if I choose to submit for my magazine next year–I can submit if I’m not part of the production staff and I’m only part of it for this year. I have until December to perfect it, but now I have something to work on. I plan on submitting the maximum of permitted pieces per genre; I know what my competition looks like and I’m not about to be a quick “nay” vote.

A glimpse into everything; https://jdcrawfordauthor.wordpress.com/short-stories/oranges-creative-non-fiction/

On Self-Harm (and Oranges)
Contrary to what I was used to, my new boyfriend made a deal with me; if I feel the urge to self-harm, have angered him, or owe him something, I owe him a short story, prefferably creative non-fiction. If I self-harm anyway, I have to craft something extravagent on top of a few extra short stories.
This is still new. I cannot vouch how well it’s working for me just yet. However, it’s definitely something I recommend with others. As he said, the urge of self-harm is an urge to be destructive, so to inflict effective pain and agony upon yourself, you must go out of that by doing the opposite; create. He showed me that it is done for some means of pleasure or satisfaction, ironically inflicting it for similar reasons that someone might reward themselves with a piece of candy or splurge on new shoes.
So far, I haven’t developed a need to write every time I want to hurt myself. Instead, it makes me go into my past to heal, which as many know, does hurt worse than any mean of drawing blood. To ensure no associative habits form, I do force myself to write at least three paragraphs towards a self-harm suppliment piece when I am in the creative mood. That way I won’t create associations that limit creativity.

Video Games, Novels, and Plot Structure—Great Writing Practice

Below is an example of a video game’s plot structure, specifically for games that have multiple endings.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0FJmNdovyvbaW44WERJMmliQk0/edit?usp=sharing

(If there are any link issues, please feel free to let me know.)

It’s not as complicated as it looks—it could be a bit shorter to still work and have some situations link together to narrow down the possible endings. This is just my personal template for a practice game plot. Since it should be available to edit for yourself, it’s free to use and I don’t expect credit. With how chaotic the format is, it can be confusing, so don’t blame yourself if it’s not as clear as a perfectly linear plot. It would probably be a lot clearer if there was a specific story in the template instead of numbers and letters to label them, but again, a plot for a multi-ending game isn’t as easy as that of a linear novel.

This is what I mean by the plot being a family tree. It’s also why I say this is such a difficult challenge. It is possible to narrow down to two endings instead of five, however, that is completely based on the context of the plot itself. Applying it to the idea of a family tree, a game over would be one sibling not having any children with the other having two or three.
One ending may be based on whether you can save the life of a character or which wire they decide to cut. The more interactive, the more options that the player is presented with, the more endings they can get, unless some have the same result as other options.

There’s a reason why I’m taking such an interest in this. I believe one of my weakest points is deciding plot. I often have ideas of what I want to happen, but don’t know if they will work or where I could squeeze them in to make sense.
In many games, there is what is called a “good end”, which is also sometimes called “the true end”. This is the “official” ending that the game developer wants the player to get. They get it the same way they can get any of the others: making specific choices and accomplishing the specific objectives.
I have different ends in mind. I also have a “true end” in mind, once I get far enough into the plot. As certain as I can be about what the true end will look like, I still need to decide how to get there. It’s the problem many writers have of just not knowing what’s in the middle of your beginning and end. That’s not a problem. It can be fixed. How? Seeing multiple options and understanding how to get there. The beginning isn’t Point A to Point B, It’s A to Z and you need to discover and decide on B-Y.

I can’t guarantee this structure can cure the issue. However, it has helped me and it’s possible it can help someone else.

Feel free to share your results. Did laying out the different outcomes helpful? Did you learn something about the plot or your characters you didn’t expect?